


drugs are not the way to a man's heart

by felinedetached



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: (more like overtones its kavinsky), Drugs, Kavinsky being Kavinsky, M/M, Really Shitty Valentines Gifts, Sexual Undertones, Valentines Gifts, a drabble, aka an asshole, gratuitous use of the word fuck in the notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-27 18:57:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17772401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felinedetached/pseuds/felinedetached
Summary: But now — now it actuallyisValentine’s Day, and Henry and Gansey are going to want to make some big gesture that will end in disaster and Ronan cannotwaitto laugh at the chaos that will come afterwards.in which Ronan Lynch is suprised by Valentine's Day.





	drugs are not the way to a man's heart

**Author's Note:**

> > **felinedetached—Yesterday at 6:26 PM**  
>  I’ve never had a valentine  
> Do u think kavinsky ever gave ronan anything for Valentine’s Day  
> But like  
> Something completely fucked
>> 
>> **Suiqune—Yesterday at 6:30 PM**  
>  a heart shaped box of drugs with condoms taped to it
>> 
>> **felinedetached—Yesterday at 6:31 PM**  
>  Yeah probably  
> There’s a note taped to it that says “get dick to try them on you’ll love it”
>> 
>> **Suiqune—Yesterday at 6:42 PM**  
>  dfs;lkj
>> 
>> **felinedetached—Yesterday at 6:43 PM**  
>  the next day ronan gets a text that just reads "so how about those condoms" and hes like "blew my mind thanks" and kavinsky is Horrified
>> 
>> **Suiqune—Yesterday at 6:44 PM**  
>  kavinsky: i have made mistakes
>> 
>> **felinedetached—Yesterday at 6:45 PM**  
>  kavinsky: goddamnit i wanted to fuck him not facilitate him fucking dick

It’s Valentine's Day. Ronan’s more entertained by that fact than anything; mainly because this is their first Valentines after Blue, their first Valentines after Gansey’s resurrection, their first Valentines after everything went to shit and everyone came back.

It’s their first Valentines as a group — their first Valentines as _The Gangsey_ , as Henry likes to call them — and Ronan cannot wait. He cannot wait because Henry and Gansey _love_ Valentines and Blue (he knows this because she told him, laughing, one dark, dark evening with Adam doing something to Cabeswater and Gansey with his family and Henry not close enough, yet) _hates_ Valentine’s Day.

“It’s a capitalist dream,” she had announced once, and Ronan had let out a bark of aggressive, rough laughter.

“I’m a capitalist dream,” he had said, because he doesn’t lie. She’d just smirked at him.

But now — now it actually _is_ Valentine’s Day, and Henry and Gansey are going to want to make some big gesture that will end in disaster and Ronan cannot _wait_ to laugh at the chaos that will come afterwards.

He makes it through most of school — through Latin and English and Math — and lunch has arrived before anything really goes wrong. It’s not even _wrong_ , really, it’s just… not right.

Ronan had expected a disaster. He’d almost expected Gansey to send Blue an excessive amount of roses or something else equally cheesy; had expected them to be sent to her school and had almost half expected her to come  storming into Aglionby, murder in her eyes, unable to be stopped by any teacher that might have wanted to get in her way.

What he _hadn’t_ expected was to have what appeared to be a box of chocolates dropped in front of him at lunch; he  hadn’t expected to see Kavinsky tilting his sunglasses down and offering a wink before sauntering off, hands that had once been full now empty — because their contents were in Ronan’s lap.

“What,” Adam said, quiet,  as the entire table stilled. Ronan couldn’t help but agree with him.

Henry, though — Henry got over his confusion scarily quickly. “Did _Joseph Kavinsky_ really just give you a Valentine?” he said. “Did you — you, Lynch — really just get a Valentine _at all?_ ”

Ronan wasn’t offended, really. He hadn’t expected one either, to be honest.

~~He’d hoped for one, maybe; from someone a lot closer to home than _Kavinsky,_ but there’s not much he can do about that hope but let it fester. ~~

But — “Yes,” Ronan says, because he doesn’t lie.

“Well, then open it!” Henry exclaims. He’s very excitable. Ronan thinks he’d probably be less happy if it were Gansey or himself who got a Valentine from Kavinsky. But he does open it; mainly because he’s just as curious.

He shouldn’t have been. He could have predicted its contents without ever opening the heart-shaped box.

Inside, there were four different coloured pills — green, red, orange, blue — three condoms (“Ribbed for her pleasure,” the wrapping announces proudly) and a folded piece of simple, white paper.

_get dick to try them on. you’ll love it._

* * *

Ronan does not, in fact, get Gansey to fuck him with them. He’s nowhere near crass enough to ask a friend’s boyfriend — two of his friend’s boyfriend, actually — to do so and he wouldn’t even if they _weren’t_ dating. He values Gansey’s friendship too much for that, no matter how much he wishes for it.

This fact, of course, does not stop him from replying to the text he gets from Kavinsky two days later — _feel like thanking me yet_ — with _i’d rather thank dick for how he uses it._

Kavinsky never replies. It feels almost like a victory.

 

**Author's Note:**

> authors note: i actually do have a valentine now!!!! so does ronan even if he hates it
> 
> sorry this was super short! i wrote it in like an hour while kind of dying so


End file.
